So. The Soldier and the Heavy and the Doc are all having an argument about who may or may not have reblogged certain things, and how… accurate those things may or may not be, and how they may or may not reflect the team and… I don’t know, the values BLU stands for.
Though, far as I’m concerned, BLU pretty much stands for killing the other blokes. Haven’t seen any mission statements or nothing, just… killing, mostly.
Anyway, most of the pictures are drawings. By a bunch of different people. For whatever that’s worth… Bit creepy, if you ask me— and as far as company values go, at least as many of them were of RED’s Heavy and Medic.
Don’t know if the other pictures are real or doctored or what, no expert on that. Truckie might know, we’ll see if he gets dragged into it. Hope not for his sake, just based on what I’ve seen… don’t know if he could take it, sorting through all those.
Anyway, Doc’s too busy getting into a big three man fight to write up an update, and nobody can even find the damn spook, and we’ve got a basic rule against letting Scout blog, so… guess for now it’s down to me.
Week or so back they had us working trying to push a bomb cart onto RED’s side. Corporate sent us an extra Sniper. Decent enough bloke, but… bit insulting, is all I’m saying. I mean, do we really need more than one of us picking off the other team to keep ‘em from standing guard? I do my job.
Anyway, funny bit was, I guess Doc missed the memo, or forgot about it, because, the other Sniper gets hurt— so I gather after the fact— and calls out for him. Doc comes sprinting around the corner and happens on me, fires up his medigun. I say ‘What the hell are you doing, mate?’, he says ‘Well why the hell did you call me if you didn’t need me?’.
Before I have the chance to point out I didn’t call him, the other Sniper tumbles down dead right bloody in front of me, I mean, he’s dead before the Doc can even turn around.
Well, most of us had a laugh about it later. He called us all wankers, of course, still a bit sore. Him and the Doc did not make friends, let me say that much.
Spy says is my turn to use basement computer thing. This is fine. He says I do this job instead of him, or world learns Heavy’s secret, but Spy does not tell me what secret this is, so…
Maybe Spy knows I took last piece of cake… but, cake was just so delicious! And nobody else takes last piece, maybe is just extra.
Today, I shoot many cowards. Wake up in resupply room once or twice, but… is nothing serious. Blog, you should see other guy! But you can’t, he is missing many parts! You see, this is funny.
Doktor and I make good team. We do not win all of the time, but I do much damage to RED baby men, and Doktor fixes much damage that happens to Heavy, is not so bad a day.
Scout does good job today, too, but is not allowed to blog because he does not talk about team, only about Scout. Soldier is credit to team also. I only see Spy and Sniper at beginning of round or in resupply room, but probably they did good. Engineer is big credit to team, all the time.
BLU is doing good job other places, too— when we move to different base, other teams of BLU mercenaries switch with us. They even have other BLU Heavy Weapons Guy, maybe more than one. I don’t know. Scout says, other Heavy Weapons Guy looks just like me. But I don’t see it.
(Soldier looks like other BLU Soldiers, though— one time we had two and this was confusing. One time, I have to be substitute on different BLU team without my Doktor. I met five Pyros! Maybe they all look alike, or maybe one of them is… a stack of dogs in suit, or several ducks, maybe monkey wearing stilts. Hard to say. But, those guys know how to party! We had good time fighting cowards, but at end of day, is always good to come home to my Doktor team.)
It hasn’t been good. Not that the team is not good! Everyone has their good days and bad days, I suppose. Everything is always a little bit off when the time comes to cycle to a different base.
I will share the details of my own triumphs and failures over the past couple of days.
I do my best, you know? It is not easy— my fellow medics will attest to this!— to keep everyone on the team healthy, especially when they all insist upon the rocket jumping, and the sticky jumping, and the walking out in front of sentries!
I am following my Heavy into battle, to begin with. I want to start building up an ubercharge right off the bat, and I want to not be shot as I do so. As human shields go? No one is more magnificent! And always so demonstratively grateful! But, of course when our teammates are in need, I split off to find the injured.
I leave my Heavy to aid the Soldier, who is dancing around like a madman. We have retreated to a safe corner, there are no REDs storming our position, and yet he leaps about so wildly that I can barely hit him to heal him. This, even though he has been heaping his verbal abuse upon me lately— not just about the self portraits. But, he is my teammate, and it is my duty! And at least he is not so bad as the Scout, when it comes to trying to heal a non-stationary teammate. But, I have been irked with Soldier for the past several days, so that makes it seem worse, I think.
While Heavy and I are separated, he is taken down, and it is not long before the RED Pyro has ambushed me as well. We respawn, but we have a run of bad luck with the RED Sniper after that! I am backstabbed once by the RED Spy, as well.
Also, once, I fell off a cliff. My glasses were dirty, and I was not being careful. That is my own fault.
Actually, twice I fell off of a cliff, but one of those times I had been set on fire, so that does not really count as an ‘accident’.
Still, even stumbling to my crunchy demise upon jagged rocks was not the most embarrassing! The most embarrassing…
Well, I will go ahead and write about it. Confession is good for the soul! I don’t know if I believe in the soul… I have never been able to measure one. But, if I have a soul, then, confession is good for it. And I doubt very many people are interested in reading about a silly little thing like this, anyway.
I had taken a knock to the head, a sound one! The offender was quickly dispatched by one of my teammates— our Demoman, I think— but I was disoriented and panicking. I was at this time separated from my Heavy, and when I looked up, I could just make him out. He was in retreat, which meant he must have been near death or up against some impressive obstacle— and even that rarely sends him running. Fearing the worst, I fumbled for the medigun so that I could heal him, then we would return to the fray together!
Well, unfortunately, the knock to the head scrambled my senses, and had caused me to drop my weapons and equipment. In my haste, I grabbed the wrong thing! BUT! The enemy soldier appeared between my Heavy and I, so the spray of needles was not so disastrous a thing as it could have been.
As it turned out, Heavy was worried because I had been left behind and he had not heard anyone call for me, nor had I told him we would be separating. Well, he was right, I had been injured, but not gravely. We did not have much time to laugh about how silly I was, though, because then we were both blown to bloody chunks.
Well. We will just have to do better starting Monday! Things should be looking up, we are back at a familiar base and we feel like we will have a good advantage when we attack after the weekend. It is a good layout for us here.